


Trip to the Savage Lands

by Gamororc



Category: Hawkeye (Comics), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Gen, Post-Endgame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-26
Updated: 2019-04-26
Packaged: 2020-02-07 04:01:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18612700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gamororc/pseuds/Gamororc
Summary: Clint Barton needs to get his shit together. How better to do that than a good old fashioned dinosaur hunt? ENDGAME SPOILERS.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so this is set after Endgame following the MCU plot, but Clint is the age/build/personality of Matt Fraction's Hawkeye. So a bit younger, a bit clumsier and a bit less put together (but keeping the haircut and tattoos). Not that I have anything against Jeremy Renner, I just like writing this Hawkeye better and it works better for the story. Kinda had to piss all over Laura to make that happen but tough decisions must be made. MASSIVE ENDGAME SPOILER WARNING. Please don't be upset if you don't heed it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This first chapter is setting the scene for the rest, so is a wee bit more miserable than the rest will be. The first chapter is also filled with Endgame spoilers, so this is your last chance to turn back if you don't wanna know at least one big thing that goes on. I don't think the rest will have many, if any, but I can't make any promises. 
> 
> Characterisation = 80% Fraction and 20% MCU so if you haven't read the comics my Hawkeye might seem kinda weird.

It was different after, Clint had changed. At first it was fine, he was so happy to see Laura and the kids that nothing else mattered. Then things started creeping in. Laura didn't like his tattoos and pitched a fit when he wanted to get one in remembrance of Natasha. He did it anyway and she didn't speak to him for a week. He had nightmares, and spent more time in the living room than the bedroom. He didn't sleep. He felt an intense guilt whenever he did anything that brought him joy; time with the kids, catch ups with the team, walks, shooting. Laura tried to convince him to grow his hair back in while Lila and Cooper shook their heads in the background. He let the kids do whatever they wanted after missing them for so long. She hid his swords so the kids didn't see them. He spent more and more time away from home, and at first Laura was fine, she understood, but they started to argue.

 

One night he strolled in way after bedtime, the sun was almost coming up and he hadn't noticed. Laura was waiting at the kitchen bench, an open wine bottle on the table and her eyes tired and red.

 

"Oh, hey honey," he said, putting his bow down by the door, something else that she took offence at lately.

 

"Clint, we need to talk."

 

Clint went cold, stared her down, exhaustion setting into his bones.

 

"We do?""

"I think you should maybe go somewhere for a while. Pull yourself together."

"What?"

"You're just… You're not setting a good example. The kids have been through a lot. They need their father."

"I'm right here?"

"But you're not. They think you're cool now but giving in to their every demand isn't what they need. They need routine, boundaries -"

"I'm not -"

"And I need my husband back. Clint, I look at you and I don't even know who you are anymore."

 

Clint felt anger and grief rushing up his spine, and he took a breath to steady himself.

 

"Laura, you were gone. I turned around for a second and the hotdogs were there and the bow was there and my fucking house arrest band was still there but you were all gone and I didn't know what to do. I was so lost -"

"You won't talk about what you did -"

"Nat-"

"And you won't talk about Nat either. We love her too, Clint. This isn't all about you."

"I never said it was about me -"

"But it is. You think because you lived through it that -"

"I was alone in the world. I didn't think I'd ever see you again -"

"So you got a tattoo and a trendy haircut? What else did you do to seek comfort while we were missing?"

"Fuck off Laura, you have no idea -"

"So tell me!"

 

Clint exploded. His grief, and his guilt, his horror and anger bursting to the surface.

 

"I LEFT HER! She is out there, on a fucking planet I can never get back to, lying in a fucking ditch and the stone is back there with her now so it isn't even like we got to keep a lasting reminder. I fought her to do it. They sent us deliberately, _knowing_ what we had to do. _Knowing_ one of us couldn't come back. I was over the ledge, it was me, I was gone and then she caught me one last time. She died, and I came back here, and I had to leave her there. She's smashed on the fucking ground, alone, so far from home and there's no coming back from that now. We couldn't even bury her."

 

There was silence, processing, as Clint stood, eyes streaming. He went to the sink to pour a glass of water.

 

"There was a chance that you were getting us back and you still threw yourself off a cliff to save her?" Laura said in a small voice.

 

Clint at his glass down with shaking hands and walked out of the door, picking up his bow as he went. If he'd have looked back he'd have seen Laura running after him, crying. He clicked off his hearing aids as he left, so he didn't hear her apology, telling him that wasn't how she meant it., because if that was all she could take from it, it was already over.

 

He turned the key in his ignition and drove away.


	2. Chapter 2

Clint woke up the next day with a sore back from the awkward angle he'd been sleeping on in the sofa. Hope van Dyne was standing at the sink, washing dishes. There were pizza boxes and beer bottles lying on the tables and floor. He was thirsty and his head felt fuzzy.

"Fun night?" Hope asked.  
"Not exactly."  
"Your phone was ringing. In fact, I don't think it's stopped ringing."

Clint picked his phone up, squinting at the screen, and Hope placed a glass of water and some aspirin down in front of him.

"I'm sorry for dropping in like this -"

Hope waved him off.

"You're not the worst of Scott's friends to drop by unannounced, Barton. Drink up."

Clint did, and he checked his phone in the process. The majority of the calls were from Laura. He had a couple of messages from Lila.

_Mom won't tell us what happened. Are you okay?_

_I'm okay. I just need some space._

_From us or mom?_

_Never you._

There was a pause, and Clint helped put the rubbish in the recycling as Hope made some coffee and joked about waking sleeping beauty. Clint's phone buzzed again as she did.

_For what it's worth, I overheard last night and think mom was out of order. We all miss auntie Nat but we weren't there. I don't think I'd want someone I loved to throw themselves off a cliff for me either and I mean, that's what she did right? To bring everyone back? I don't think who we love more comes into it in the moment._

Clint sighed, fine hovering over the keypad.

 _I would have told you guys eventually, when I got my head round things. Me and your aunt Nat have a lot of history. I didn't want to watch her die. Not like that. But I love you all so much. I didn't think it would change that. I was doing it for you. Always_.

_It doesn't change anything. I love you too dad. I'll explain things to Cooper. Please keep in touch._

_Of course I will._

_I will too._

Scott shuffled downstairs, followed by Hope who looked very smug.

"Man, my head. I'm too old to drink."  
"You and me both buddy."

Hope rolled her eyes.

"Don't blame age when it's how much you drink. Do you need me to make up the bed in the spare room, Clint? We're doing it up for Cassie but if you can live with the smell of paint I'm sure she won't mind."  
"Nah, don't worry. I have some other places to crash."  
"You sure?" Scott said. "We don't mind. I don't want you sleeping in your car."  
"Wanda has space and she's alone. She said she could do with the company."

Scott looked skeptical, but let it pass.

"Well okay, but if you need it just come back."  
"Yeah man I will. Thanks for everything."

Scott saw him to the door.

"I hope things get better, Clint. I really do."

Clint managed a smile.

"Me too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2nd chapter setting the scene. I think there's just one more before we get into it properly. I've written all of the preface so there's a good chunk to upload all at once but then it might take me a little while to upload after that due to life things. Hopefully not too long.


	3. Chapter 3

Clint knocked on Wanda's front door, and she answered in pyjamas. He'd not seen her in anything as casual before and it was quite a shock.

"Clint? Are you okay?"  
"I need somewhere to stay, and since all of my other friends are dead -"

Wanda frowned, looking concerned, then stood aside to let him in.

"You want a coffee and to tell me all about it?"  
"I mean, that sounds great.

* * *

 

Clint explained, and Wanda listened. She didn't have any advice to give, so didn't try.

"You can stay here as long as you like, old man. But you'll have to get in the grocery shop."

Clint smiled.

* * *

 

He went to the store that evening, needing to pick up some clothes as he did. Wanda had written him a list of what she needed. It was a funny combination of things, but he wasn't going to question it. He put it on his Avengers card, half expecting it to be declined, but apparently he was still loaded. That wasn't a bad thing.

As he was loading bags into his truck, he noticed a disturbance in the corner of the multi - story. He picked his bow out of the passenger side and fired off an arrow. The men jumped and turned to face him, but he had another arrow already nocked.

"Care to tell me what the problem is here, gentleman?"

They looked from him, to his bow, and back. And then ran. He took aim and managed to shoot the handbag straps out of one guys hand.

"Doesn't suit you, buddy!" he yelled, and they didn't stop to pick it up.

He turned back around to the flustered girl, setting her top right.

"Are you okay?"

She scowled at him.

"I had that handled."  
"Sure looked like it."

She spluttered, indignantly.

"I don't wanna step on toes, honestly. I just didn't want to walk on by when someone might have needed some help."

The kid sighed.

"I know. I'm sorry. Thanks for helping."

Clint retrieved her bag and took it back to her. She had a vintage beetle, purple.

"Nice ride."  
"Thanks. Hey, this might sound crazy but… Are you Hawkeye? The Hawkeye?"  
"Uh, I mean I was. Maybe not anymore."  
"I'm such a big fan. I saw you on TV, like, 10 years ago at the Battle of New York and you inspired me to learn how to shoot."

Clint was offended and flattered in equal measures.

"Okay, I mean it wasn't that long ago but thanks, I guess. Are you any good?"  
"Yeah, I think so."

Clint laughed.

"I like the confidence."  
"Thanks. Hey look, I better be going but y'know. Thanks for helping out."  
"That's alright."  
"And thanks for not being, like, one of those guys you meet who make the 'you shouldn't meet your heroes' thing true. You seem alright."

Clint laughed again, and the kid got in the car.

"I'm Kate by the way."  
"It was good to meet you, Kate."  
"Yeah, you too."


	4. Chapter 4

Clint sort of got his shit together, but sort of fell apart all at once. He bought a tower block to stop it getting in the hands of dodgy people and moved in to a flat. He fought some guys for a dog that was being mistreated. He lived off pizza and coffee and ate vegetables at the weekly BBQs they all had on the roof. Kate discovered where he lived and regularly bothered him. He discussed joint custody with Laura, and had the kids over whenever they wanted to come. He had video games and let them stay up when they wanted and eat junk food. Wanda dropped by frequently and so did Scott. 

 

He talked with Fury about a job and did small things to keep the place safe, but also helped in the background with training for the newer or younger Avengers when they needed it. He was occasionally sad, and angry, and shot targets for fun. 

 

Wanda rocked up at the house on a hot day when he was just in his pants eating nachos. 

 

"Jesus, Wanda," he said, pulling on a pair of sweatpants. 

She was oblivious. "What? You think that's distracting?" 

"Hey I'm not in bad shape. Am I?" 

 

She rolled her eyes. 

 

"I need your help." 

"Yeah?" 

"We found something. On an island no one had heard of." 

 

Clint pulled on a shirt. It had a purple target in the centre. Kate had got it for his birthday. She'd joked it was his "new uniform" and Lila and Cooper had bought him some purple high tops to go with it. He felt a bit like he was having a midlife crisis. He liked to think he was too young for that but he probably was. 

 

"Go on…" 

"Dinosaurs. I'm taking Peter. I think you and Kate should come." 

"Hold up, dinosaurs? Really?" 

"We think so."

"I mean, I don't believe you but I'm gonna have to come in case it's true." 

"Wonderful. I text Kate already." 

 

Clint picked up his phone to text Scott and ask him to take Lucky for a while. There was a text from Kate. 

 

_ Is Wanda high rn?  _

 

He laughed. 

 

_ Don't think so. I'm totally going. If it is dinosaurs and you say no, how much would you regret it?  _

 

_ Fair point.  _

 

"When do we leave?" 

"Maybe tomorrow?" 

"Alright, I'll pack a bag. Send me through the details." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last bit I have saved, super short so sorry about that. Clint has now transitioned to Fraction land. His kids are still around but Laura is doing the adult stuff while Clint goes back to work looking after baby Avengers.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for my tardiness, I have a fairly young child and am writing in my downtime which apparently isn't frequent! I'm also super excited about X-Men and losing my flow on this to write about that instead. I love dinosaurs and Clint though so will finish this (barely even started) fic, you might need to show me a bit of patience.

Clint and Kate head upstate to the Avengers facility in his jeep. Clint has been avoiding the place, the memories of Tony and Nat too much to take, but they need a jet and Fury has left the ones in the facility alone. He can't go in, remembering dropping to his knees, yellow piece of shit falling from his palm as he broke down completely for the second time. He remembers Pepper and Scott helping him to his feet, Tony staggering sideways and clinging on to a counter for support. He remembers Rhodey's face, Cap clutching his knees, the colour draining from Thor's face and Banner, he remembers Banner's loss of control, wonders if the hole in the wall was ever patched up.

 

He's therefore pleased to see a jet waiting on the lawn, Sam having flown it up for them. Peter Parker is stood with Wanda, chatting incessantly by the looks of it and practically vibrating with excitement. He's a good kid, but he is so very young that Clint worries about him a lot.

 

He leaves the jeep in the middle of the lawn, much to Sam's chagrin.

 

"I'm not a busboy you guys, cmon," he says as they embrace.

"Nah man, you're Captain America!"

"Yeah I'm still not sure on that. How you holding up?"

"I'm alright, although I get the feeling that I'm just here to fly a jet!"

 

Wanda rolls her eyes.

 

"Why else would we be needing a man with arrows? You think you're useful?"

"I am the heart and soul of this team and never convince yourself otherwise. Got your permission form Peter? Excited for the school trip?"

"Actually y'know this would have been way better for me in term time. May has had to tell the school we're going to Italy for a funeral. I don't even know if I still have relatives in Italy."

"Yeah guys, could you not've waited like two weeks?"

 

Wanda rolls her eyes again.

 

"Now please. I would like to get there today as if there is nothing I'm missing good television tonight!"

"I dunno who introduced you to reality TV Wanda but they really need talking to." He turned to Kate, "it was you, wasn't it?"

"All I'm saying is that not everyone wants to watch Dog Cops or that dragon cartoon over and over again."

 

Peter looks up from his phone.

 

"The Dragon Riders on Netflix? Dude, it's awesome!"

"The man talks sense," Clint says. "C'mon then. Let's get on down to Costa Rica."

 

Wanda frowned.

 

"I don't think we're going to Costa Rica?"

"Have you never seen Jurassic Park? It's an old movie but-"

"It was like 1994," Clint says, rolling his eyes. "I feel like I'm taking you guys on a field trip."

"Yeah I wasn't born in 1994 but okay."

 

He grabs his and Katie's bags, shrugging her off when she attempts to grab them back. She grabs the bows and follows him.

 

"Seeya Mr Wilson!" Peter says, trailing after everyone up the ramp.

"For the last time, kid. It's just Sam. Keep outta trouble, Barton. And if there are dinosaurs, for God's sake don't get eaten."

"No promises!"

 

Clint dumps the bags and gets settled in the cockpit, trying not to look too much at the empty passenger seat. He fiddles with some buttons, changes the tuning on his hearing aid so he can hear the other guys earpieces and puts on his sunglasses.

 

" We all good?" he asks, and everyone confirms. "Gonna be some ride so you might as well settle in. There's TV and WiFi, I imagine there's a few ready meals and snacks in the fridge."

 

"Man, this is _so cool_!" Peter exclaims, wandering around taking photographs or a video or whatever on his phone. His phone rings.

 

"Oh hey MJ. Nah, sorry, I can't I'm- what? How do you even know that?"

 

Clint rolls his eyes, but he still can't shake the loneliness as he sets the plane in gear and faces it down the runway. He's just about to sigh when Wanda flops into the seat, _Nat's_ seat, with a knowing sort of look about her. She puts her feet on the dash, all boots and black skinny jeans, and gives him a sad sort of smile.

 

"Thought you might need a coke. Just tell me if you want anything."

 

She puts her other earpiece in and presses play on her iPod, leaning back and closing her eyes. Clint berates himself for forgetting that she has lost plenty too, as has Peter. Way more than him to begin with. Kate is reading a magazine and Peter is still on his phone to MJ, whoever that is. Clint reminds himself he's a father and an Avenger. He can manage a dinosaur field trip.

 

How hard can it be?

 


End file.
